I really suck at blogging 😞

Honestly I have been crazy depressed it was my TOM 😝so that means being completely drained for me. I have severe iron deficiency anemia and the older I get the worse my TOM gets, some days I am so weak I can't walk up stairs (thank god for my downstairs bathroom). I am seeing a doc about this problem of mine so hopefully it gets fixed!!
On another personal note I told ya' ll about my past eating problems weeeellllll I have IBS-C which is irritable bowel syndrome with constipation. While at my doc on Monday (blood work) she told me about a new med for IBS-C called Linzess I started it today and will update on how it's going
What I wouldn't give to look like this again ;)

Motivation

I suck!! I have not been faithfully sticking to my diet and have gained 3lbs !!! I need to get this shit DONE!! I have already had a Reese cup but I'm done .. Not even buying them for the kids for Easter

A little truth

If your on a journey share your story, if your naturally skinny SHUT THE FUCK UP! Fat girls don't want to hear that shit ;)
The pic of the girl walking away .. Yeah that's my wallpaper on my phone

Morning :(

So I'm not only counting calories I'm freaking tracking points with this amazing little app itrackbites . I get on the scale and I fucking gained 2lbs :(
I can also feel my arm fat giggle as I write this ... Man I'm a fatass!!!
Time to get up have some coffee and get this day going ... Watching my niece tonight so my little brother and his woman can have a much needed break ;) plus tomorrow is his birthday and she's one of the cutest bugs I know ;) I'm not bias you can see for your self .. My little brother and his girls 😊

History ;)

A little history on my weight loss journey I have struggled my whole life to be skinny.
This time it's different, see I quit smoking it will be a year in April. I quit to be healthy I wanted to run again. This time I'm not starving myself, I will be exercising I AM DOING THIS THE RIGHT WAY!!
I say this because I have suffered from anorexia and bulimia since I was 13. Doing this the healthy way is harder for me, my first instinct is starve myself then when I feel week eat and I mean EAT after that comes the puking.. Lots of puking! I also ate a lot of laxatives in the early years.. so many that I now have pretty serious bowel problems I can't even poop on my own! Then comes the issue of my teeth man I had beautiful teeth, now I have cavities and have had to have some of my back ones pulled out. This is all results of the starving and puking!!! It makes me sick to say I struggle every day, everyday I want to puke, I want to flush all of my problems, my anger, and my sadness it's sick but it makes me feel better, in control something I can control. That's all an eating disorder is, something you think you control. It's been 22 years since I first puked, 22 freaking years. Every day I wake up and tell myself "today you will eat healthy and you will not puke"

I don't want this to be all about my freaking problem, I handle it pretty well. I also have a great husband that keeps me in line ;) HAHAHAHAHAHA !! That's the funniest thing I think I've said ;) but seriously he has helped me a lot get through some tough times. When it got bad he made me go to therapy it helped. So on to bigger and better things ...

Here we go ....

I have been thinking about this whole blog thing for a while, it was just on the back burner.
I hope to track weight loss and post about all the crraaaazzzzy and useless things I know :) not to mention my super amazing family ....
These are my dorks in order of age it shows their personality also :)